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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex. What do you get when you do that? A family is at the dinner table. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit.

Online adult humor

Online adult humor

Online adult humor

Online adult humor

She asked me out for lunch. A: They don't know where home is. A: Never bin laid on Q: Whats 72? A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking. Party time always gives the reasons to laugh. A: A heavy discussion Q: What do you call a party with midgets? Page 1. Maternity T-Shirts. A: A pig in a hot tub.

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Family Story 2. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your Online adult humor from flying off and hitting you in the forehead. Why do men name their penis? Want to Read Currently Reading Online adult humor. It's bigger than the BBQ grill! A mother is in the kitchen Preggo lesbain dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. Onlihe farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass. You'll see what I mean lol Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base They both smell it but they can't eat it. All Quotes Quotes By Various. Frankie Foster and Bloo. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. It's not quite right.

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Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job? A: After five years your job still sucks. Q: What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A: A tearjerker. Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q: Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? A: Even thoughts can raise them. Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q: What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?

A: Finding out it was traced. Q: Why didn't the Toilet Paper cross the road? A: It got stuck in a crack Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper! Q: What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? A: Two Test-tickles Q: Do you know what 6. A: A good thing screwed up by a period. Q: What do a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common? A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Q: How do you make a pool table laugh? A: Tickle its balls. Q: What does a perverted frog say? A: Rubbit. Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A: A Genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a Gynecologist looks up your family bush.

Q: What's green and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frog's finger Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A: A wet nose. Q: What do you call an Italian hooker? A: A Pasta-tute Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter? A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito? A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.

Q: What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters? A: They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out. A: Dress her up as an alter boy. Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? A: They were originally intended for children, but it's the men who play with them the most.

Q: Whats long, hard and full of seamen? A: A submarine Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? A: You can drop them off anywhere.

Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? A: Good morning ladies. Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes!

Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? A: Addictionary. Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A: By the taste. Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: How is pubic hair like parsley? A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a promiscuous woman? A: Tug-of-whore. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. A: Getting off once isn't enough Q: How is a woman like a road?

A: Both have manholes. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his butt. Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? A: Her navel. Q: What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A: I want you inside me! Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68, at 69 you have to turn around. Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Because they are used to eating nuts!

A: A guy will actually take time to search for a golf ball. Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. Q: What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? A: Married. Q: Why does it take million sperms to fertilize one egg?

A: Because they won't stop to ask directions. Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A: He only comes once a year. A: There are 20 of them! A: You can unscrew a lightbulb. Q: What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Q: How is a girlfriend like a laxative? A: They both irritate the crap out of you.

Q: What do the Mafia and a vagina have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? A: The man. A: Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak. Q: How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Q: What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

Q: Why can't you hear a psychologist using the bathroom? A: Because the 'p' is silent! Q: What's better than roses on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ.

Dad: Exactly Oswari Club. Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base In case you are not 18 yet it is better that you do not read further and return to the page you came from. Note to self. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet! The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

Online adult humor

Online adult humor

Online adult humor

Online adult humor

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Dirty Jokes - These Filthy Jokes and One-Liners Will Make You Laugh!

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex. What do you get when you do that? A family is at the dinner table. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions. You see them and they make you cry. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Free sex tonight! A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you? I mean male or female? Deer run too fast. Hard to catch. Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!

She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute? A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face.

A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place? Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay? You're getting mayo all over my bed! After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school.

The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face.

He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts. Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin. A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her.

All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo! Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!

Submit Joke. Credit Joke to:. Make Anonymous. Woody on Woody Woody Allen.

Online adult humor