I hear it a lot. These people say that life gets in the way and you can't be Dominant and submissive all the time. Kids get sick, the job gets busy, your friends ask more of your time. No one can avoid it and no one can be in the role all the time. For lifestyle submissives, submission isn't what they do, it's who they are.
Wait to be surprised and guided as opposed to demanding your needs. Either way, learn what you can from the experience and, most importantly, enjoy it. Ladies, always lfiestyles Submissive lifestyles man. Their joy is not all about being dominated in bed; their fundamental desire is to please their dominant. What I am getting at here is do whatever you lfestyles comfortable with, be aware of what is planned Submissive lifestyles expected of you if that means asking questions, then, by all means, ask them. Here's what Submissive lifestyles did that didn't work out so well: got pregnant. The Dominant leads, guides, and protects the submissive. Keep us running with your support.
Cartoon network adult swim shows. Definition of a dominant-submissive relationship
I'm the type of person who checks her email and Twitter on her iPhone while still in bed. Submissive lifestyles have not met in person yet, but I made a date with a time period to respond. I think it should be mandatory that if the sub masturbates, it should only be allowed in the presence of a female. If the focus is on self then you are a submissive, if the focus is on your Master, and then you are a slave. Professional writer, sex blogger, erotic author, sexual submissive, and kinkster, Kayla writes more than is probably healthy over Submissive lifestyles A Sexual Being and overshares about the kinky and mundane side of her BDSM relationship. If a submissive is unable or unwilling Texas statute on nudity accept slavery, for whatever reason, that is no great crime. Slavery is NOT an escape from life. No Illegal or, Forceful, Involuntary, Unconsensual activities are encouraged or supported. You want some friends who will not go 'you're crazy! But it's a signal to my mind and body that it's time to rest and relax for the evening. Kayla Submissive lifestyles June 5, So, any discussion of slave vs. Oh and I am bathed so that the question of touching my pee pee simply does not arise. Slavery always requires a long-term commitment by the slave to her Master and she is owned at all times. And wowza!
When I first took my submissive under my wing, she was brand-spanking-new to the lifestyle.
- While the focus of this site may seem to be oriented towards female submissives , most articles or topics will also apply to a male submissive or slave.
- What does a lifestyle submissive need to know?
- Takeaway: Living life as a submissive isn't what most people expect - and it isn't all about sex.
When I first took my submissive under my wing, she was brand-spanking-new to the lifestyle. I was once where you were standing. Be you Dominant and just starting to learn or a submissive looking for pointers — I want to go through some of my household rules that may be of interest to you.
Hopefully you will go on to shape these rules to your own specific relationship. I will not be punished for not understanding. This one is key. All the time. For the Dom that may be reading out there, be patient. She wants to learn and please you and I bet your bottom dollar she is scared of being punished for making a mistake. So comfort her, be kind to her. She submitted to you for her protection. Protect her.
Though I may be submissive to Him, I am in fact His equal. God forbid she thinks normalcy is him taking advantage of her at every point. How that goes depends entirely on the psyche of the specific man. Ladies, always know your man. Which brings me to my next point.
This one right here. Her needs come before his wants. Reading it, it sounds so simple and yet it might take a lot to practise. Yes, your Dom may claim ownership and instruct on you a regular basis but not without your input — NEVER without your input. Your comfort comes before his and always should. No matter that animal magnetism you may feel towards him, try and remember this.
You are his equal. This one is important to me because at the end of the day, primal beings we may be but we are still human. We still have messy emotions and there will most likely come a time where one of us feels like death and simply cannot maintain role.
I think this is more than fine. One submissive might even feel anxious because for all the effort the body is doing to fight the virus, it may not have the resources to stop the anxious thoughts. In these times, be the understanding Dominant. Be there for her. I will be completely honest with Him and I can expect Him to do the same with me. These are only but five examples of Household Rules. There are more, much more. As such, I know how busy life can be and how we might not always have time for grand comments so for the time being, this is all there is!
Reblogged this on A Sub's Missives. Like Liked by 1 person. I appreciate the care and concern you show for the role of a submissive. Your suggestions make our ability to release ourselves into the control of our Dominate so much easier and more fulfilling. Thank you for your insightful words, Sir. Like Like. I am pleased you enjoyed the read. I hope its of use to you in your own journey. If I can be of use to you further, do not hesitate.
I am moved by your writing and how you express yourself as a Dominant. Thank you for writing! I am somewhat new to being a baby girl and would be so grateful to have someone to connect with regarding living this lifestyle. I want to become a beautifully submissive baby girl to an enlightened Daddy. Thanks for sharing your experience here. I crave a Daddy who will set rules as loving and clear as you have done. Thankyou oh so very much, miss. Im glad you have connected with my words.
I am certain that in time you will be a wonderful baby girl, just remember to take care of your emotional wellbeing as well. I want to better understand this so i can do more to please her and keep her. I have read that more often than not when one partner is in this lifestyle and the other not, the relationship fails. I wish to keep her so if I can get some help in what to do and not to do, that would be great, and highly appreciated….. The best advice I can give to you is to be open to her desires and needs, and to be open with yourself.
Be open to new ideas. I was honestly hoping for something a little more helpful. I know I should really talk to her about this, but I also need to get information from more than just her…. So where does that take you? Are you her Dominant or her submissive? Or are you just outside of that and this is something you two or rather, she dabbles in?
Depending on what you answer, the etiquette changes. Beyond that, first and foremost I would say in a group scenario, be polite in your wording. I would recommend being yourself. We all go there. Yes she has told me the classification I guess of what she relates with…. I am neither dominate nor submissive, and I can tell when we have sex, she gets hers, but I knew something was missing. I am just trying my best. Accepting it is no problem, but jumping in head first, I will be honest frightens me.
Well, the thing to do is to not force things upon yourself, but in the same time experiment. Just dip your toe in. If she cares about you, she will understand you wanting to take it slow.
What you feel, that fear of it all, is normal. Natural even. When I started on my own journey, I was scared shitless of the things I was interested in. But for me, that went away with time, and it might with you as well.
Experiment with feelings and sensations. Maybe with sexuality. Things are fluid and too can find new feeling in new experiences. Thanks, I appreciate the encouraging words…. That would be amazing but if not thanks anyway. Some of these sites conflict because everyone has a different viewpoint because of their own personal journey. I would start with a couple of books. Screw the roses, give me the thorns is an excellent unbiased title that you can order online.
Thank you so much for this. I am newly interested in the lifestyle and just got started with my research. I love how you explain it so simply and clear. Thank you again Sir.
Hopefully the journals and such in my blog contribute to your research and overall understanding of the lifestyle. Hello Sir, how does one know if a dominant is the right fit? Any specific questions I could ask? It usually takes some time, as you have to get to know them a little bit. I usually say that you can tell by their actions — whether or not they want to rush to sexual things and nudes and the like.
A worthwhile Dominant is interested consent and your mind and getting to know what makes you tick. With them, there is no rush. I really love this piece.
Not that he needs it. I am his everything.
The Dominant Articles Regarding Dominants. By Mistress Christianna 1. The submissive must always be pleasant, never argue and never pout. Related Terms. My fiancee is a very gentle woman, and in no way one can imagine that she could end up being a Dom. It's sometimes the only way I'll take some time to focus on something outside of work or whatever my errands are for the day.
Submissive lifestyles. Daddy's Home!
Like it or not in the real world there are restrictions on TPE. In my world The slave does not have to obey commands that:. A Conflict with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave. C May cause permanent bodily harm to the slave. D May cause psychological trauma to the slave, such as a rape scene for a slave that has been raped in the past. This is not a new concept in slave ownership because in the past many societies that endorsed slavery had restrictions on how a slave could be treated by the owner.
One can look in the Bible to see examples of these restrictions. So the concept of TPE is not necessarily realistic in the modern concept of consensual slavery or in forced slavery. Today, slavery within the lifestyle has NO relationship to the forced slavery of the past. Any slave can, if she chooses, execute her free will and leave the relationship, this is a reality.
So, any discussion of slave vs. A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey her Master at all times and then submits to the will of her Master at all times. A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience:. In my opinion, a submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master.
A submissive makes a choice to give her submission in a limited fashion, for a defined period of time and under certain conditions. A submissive can have a long-term relationship with a Master, but still retains certain controls.
However, many are satisfied with casual role-play without any long-term goals. Training may or may not be involved between a Dominant and a submissive. A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship.
These conditions, rules and limits usually define time, place and activity. It is not unusual for a submissive to start the relationship with rules and limits and release some or all of them as trust, respect and love for her Master grows.
One should enter the relationship by giving only the amount of power that she feels safe in giving. The decision to become a slave should be postponed until both the Dominant and submissive know each other and trust each other.
A submissive can and often does role-play during an agreed to period of time with a Master. During this period the Master may have total control, then once the period is over, control returns to the submissive. The Master only borrows control of the submissive and to the extent the submissive wishes and she controls her submission. One definition of a slave vs. If the focus is on self then you are a submissive, if the focus is on your Master, and then you are a slave.
I am not sure that this is a complete definition for each one; however it is one dividing line between the two. Being a submissive does not always involve:. Again, there is no need to rush into slavery. One should start out as a submissive and get to know and trust her Master first. Slavery is not for all submissives. If a submissive is unable or unwilling to accept slavery, for whatever reason, that is no great crime.
Each person has to determine their needs and focus within the lifestyle. Slavery calls for a higher level of commitment and of serving, obeying and pleasing than submission. She submits to the will of her Master. His choices become her choices. Obedience is a major focus in her life. Consent and obedience are always assumed to be part of slavery. Communication, mutual understanding and trust grow to the point to where it is no longer play but part of her life.
A slave is owned all the time by her Master regardless of time, place or activity. She is owned by her Master when she is out of his presence. Trust in her Master and surrender to him is the starting point to slavery.
Slaves enter into this relationship of their own free will. This is slavery by choice, not forced slavery. She decides to give her freedoms to her Master. She becomes a slave because she needs, desires and wants to serve, obey and please her Master at all times and in all ways, not because she is forced into slavery. Sit or kneel as soon as She is seated. Be totally attentive: open doors, wait at table so that She begins eating first, always ask permission to leave Her presence.
The submale should never speak unless spoken to, or unless anticipating the needs of his Mistress. The submissive will never sit with legs spread or slouch in a way typical of untrained males. Good posture and decorum is a sign of respect. The submale will never stare at a Woman without Her permission. Unless the Woman seeks eye-contact, the submissive will keep his eyes lowered at all times.
When walking with his Mistress, or any Woman, the submissive will keep his gait in step with hers, which usually means taking smaller steps. The submale should always be at least a step behind; but not too far, because he must open all doors.
Respect is shown by a submissive as long as he never fails to forget his lowly role in life. The submissive must always be pleasant, never argue and never pout. The submale should be given a new name by his Mistress to symbolize his submissive state. If the submale is a sissy, it should be a feminine name. A submale surrenders control to his Mistress.
He surrenders control of his body, how he spends his time, how he dresses, what he eats, where he sleeps, the friends or acquaintances he is allowed to keep. In all aspects, the Mistress controls the submale. Failure to control his orgasm is disobedience. Disobedience requires punishment. If the Mistress prefers simply to torment the submale and deny him release, then the submale must control himself to provide Her than pleasure.
He must dedicate himself to abstinence and thank his Mistress humbly for removing the pleasure of ejaculation, thus allowing him to dedicate his lost pleasure to Her. If the Mistress demands satisfaction through sexual intercourse, the submale must be able to control effectively his own orgasm so that it is timed to the pleasure of his Mistress. His purpose is not to please himself but to please Her. In all cases, the submale must remember that his orgasm does not belong to him — his orgasm belongs to his Mistress.
It is Hers to use, however she sees fit. The submale should be as clean-shaven as the Mistress requires: from the top of his head to his toes, body hair should be present only if the Mistress allows it. The submale may wear long hair, styled to imitate the superior styles of Women, only if the Mistress permits. The submale may never touch his own genitals without the permission of his Mistress.
When washing, he must use a washcloth or brush, never his hands. The submale will allow himself to be pierced or tattooed as required by his Mistress, if safely and professionally done. This means the submale is always on a strict allowance, kept by his Mistress.
Feminization is training in submission. Wearing items of Feminine attire separates the submissive from and puts him outside of the world of the macho male. Standard attire is pink or white panties, an extra-absorbent pad normally used by those suffering from incontinence , and panty hose worn under male clothing. Whether a woman knows what the submissive is wearing or not, feminization pushes the submissive closer to the company of women and away from the company of men. This is good for the submale, because it creates greater opportunities for him to be of help to Women, to serve them, and to model his behavior on their own superior behavior.
Feminine items can also be used as punishment — corsets, girdles and foundations. These should be selected by the Mistress for maximum discomfort. If the submale is a sissy or TV, very feminine clothing should be reserved for rewards; drudge clothing — plain white panties, plain lingerie, housecoats, aprons, etc.
The submale should never buy his own clothing without the guidance of his Mistress. He should buy what pleases her, not what he likes. The submissive will use only Feminine hygiene products: soaps, shampoos, lotions, deodorants, etc.
For good health, the submissive will enroll in a dance aerobics class. As an alternative, the submale will prepare his own dance aerobics routine and perform it for his Mistress for Her amusement. The submale must diet as required to maintain a correct weight for his height and should drink at least six ounce glasses of water each day.
Meet a Mistress. The submale must always give his Mistress the first choice of everything — She picks the section of the paper to read first, the channel on TV to watch, the restaurant to go to, the movie to see, the friends to entertain, etc. The submissive must always keep his own quarters spotless, as directed by the Mistress.
All furnishings and interior decoration will follow Her taste. It is definitely a fertile sub-genre of femdom writing. This one certainly covers a lot of ground! I need help Miss Christianna. He found me on a dating site. The thought had never crossed my mind prior. But I am now intrigued and Absolutely interested in pursuing this. We have not met in person yet, but I made a date with a time period to respond. Shopping for our own toys, panties and dinner. Your rules have helped so much so far.
I really want this. Please help me. Any Female is your superior and you are there to serve. I love this list of rules although I lack a female to submit to. In the mean time, it is my duty to treat all females with respect as my superiors. You are correct with your thoughts and your payment for that respect will be repaid with pain and humiliation susangilmoor yahoo. Related posts: 1. I was dominant male until I saw the light. I am so aroused at the thought of being owned dominated.
I will live by your rules completely reformed. I feel as punishment for my haughty former position as Dom I should languish in chastity denied pleasure displayed as such too publicly degraded. I crave a steel collar welded permanently on my slave neck. The very whips I used on females must beat me marking my body as a man defeated utterly by women.
I beg this fate I am so ashamed of my past. Punish me heartlessly use your power to expose this dom make me weep in shame. I will at anytime kneel and admit publicly my crimes against feminity and endure horrible mental torment as captive of femdom power. Encourage any who wish to email me please you can give the address out so the females I have wronged May cruelly destroy any dignity I stupidly try to hold on to. I will write it here and accept all taunts and insults I so richly desire.
I will submissively reply begging mercy to all who deservedly condem me. I am so apologetic so ashamed I surrender to your power I beg your abuse Misresses.
What does a lifestyle submissive need to know? - bdsm kink dominance | Ask MetaFilter
Most people like this type of relationship because of the dynamic power involved. The Dominant leads, guides, and protects the submissive. The submissive is the baby girl or servant who pleases the dominant. For instance, the dominant can create a simple rule for the submissive such as asking for permission to go out on weekends.
The dynamic may as well be a set of strict rules and complex responsibilities that make the dominant feel more in control of the body and mind of the submissive. Such partners may switch their roles as they please - a man can dominate for a while and then become submissive at some point. Those pre-arranged scenes are about power exchange. For instance, if the woman is the submissive partner, she can give her man a massage, serve him food, and take any order from him. The dominant partner can sometimes restrain the submissive one or discipline them.
Different couples play different power-based roles e. Some partners can maintain their power dynamic for longer periods of time such as during a holiday while others take on a long-term arrangement one is dominant and the other is submissive throughout their lifetime. These couples live a completely normal human life; their relationships are not really different from the rest. There are people who just love to dominate while others prefer being submissive.
If both parties are in the relationship willingly, it means that there will be no conflicts as far as power is concerned. The only common thing about the relationships is that there is a dominant and a submissive partner. Note that domination involves taking and not giving so the dominant expects to be pleased in whatever way they like by the submissive. Basically, the dominant expects nothing short of obedience.
The summed up roles of domination include: 1. Taking responsibilities 2. Being in full control 3. Prioritizing their desires and choices 4. Performing duties to their submissive partner 5.
Demanding compliance and obedience. The submissive delights in submitting to their partners. Their joy is not all about being dominated in bed; their fundamental desire is to please their dominant. Sometimes, you will not give your opinions until your dominant states theirs. Basically, these are the roles of the submissive: 1. Elevating the desires of the dominant above theirs 2. Accepting to be controlled 3.
Expressing the desire to please the dominant. First of all, there are no hard or fast rules; the partners create their own principles regarding what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules. This is the groundwork for any trusting relationship. Your partner is not a mind-reader so you need to speak up about your expectations, contracts, and rules.
Continued communication is what will keep the relationship moving. Make time to discuss issues freely and learn how to read your partners signals or safe words. Honest dynamic and interaction go a long way. For instance, if you are the dominant type and want to push the limits of your submissive, you will require particular information to understand her boundaries.
The only way you can understand their limits is through effective communication. You want to exercise power in a positive and constructive manner. So, more information will enable you to accomplish your roles better. To get the right information, you need to be honest as you interact with your partner. For this matter, let it be clear as far as your fantasies are concerned so you can determine what is practical or not. For the submissive partner, do not forget that your dominant is as human as you.
Sometimes, even the most powerful and experienced partners can be indecisive or awkward. If they make errors, do not focus too much on them. Most of the stuff you watch on movies or read in magazines is impractical. Just go with what seems natural in your relationship. This involves good nutrition, appropriate sleeping patterns, minimal alcohol intake, and a stress-free lifestyle.
If you think you are not well, just forget about the strenuous activities. And when we say experimentation, it is about how many extra miles you can go.
The definition of fun in relationships differs significantly. So, you should only design rules which are easier to follow, otherwise, your dominance or submission will be undermined. Take for instance a situation whereby the submissive partner is expected to take off their clothes whenever the dominant partner gets home.
What if the dominant is in the company of another person or there are other people in the house? This rule would not be appropriate. The best rules must not leave provisions for guesswork if you want full enjoyment. Before coming up with a rule, think about instances in which it would be difficult to comply or whether it could trigger dishonesty.
You have to be patient with your submissive and let them get to know you first. Gentleness, subtlety, and finesse fit into the definition of the dominant. In as much as you have the greater power, you need to show kindness and gentleness to your submissive. Be sensitive so you can create a comfortable atmosphere for the two of you.
A good dominant lets the submissive know if they are truly interested in the relationship or not. Bear in mind that if you are the submissive, your work is to satisfy and serve your fellow human being so that they can focus on making your fantasies come true. Sometimes the dominant may lack the experience that the submissive is looking for. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself too so that you can give your partner only the things you are in full control of.
Safety should be your first and most important concern no matter how safe a certain scene may come across. Dishonesty is not only problematic, but dangerous too. If you are the submissive type, feel free to share your fantasies and needs because your dominant knows you have them. Be very clear about what you want, what turns you off, as well as your health concerns. If you are not candid, you will experience lots of disappointments along the way because your dominant will be trying to satisfy you based on wrong information.
No matter how much you praise yourself, your true colors will show up somewhere along the way. Take this advice: do not develop expectations you are sure you cannot accomplish - it is like setting yourself up for failure.
You have to be open-minded. Most submissive partners expect to be controlled emotionally and physically, but not brutally. Let your submissive partner fall in love with who you really are so they can give themselves to you completely. If you have to punish your submissive, do it appropriately and enforce authentic rules only. Since you understand your full responsibilities do not shirk any of them. Accept that you are reliable and allow your partner to depend on you.
For the submissive, you have to accept being owned, directed, and controlled because that is the whole point of being submissive. Surrender all your power and raise genuine concerns when necessary. Because you have accepted limitations, stay within those limits and respect your dominant. There is a thin line between the definition of caring and having a self-righteous attitude. A dominant partner should find the balance between fantasies and the needs of the submissive.
While the submissive is expected to act like a servant, the two partners should serve one another. Wait to be surprised and guided as opposed to demanding your needs. On the other side, the dominant partner must not force their sub to refer to them in particular titles such as 'Master' or 'Sir'. Let them address you respectably only if they're inclined to.
To some extent, it can encourage emotional abuse. This type of relationship only works for couples who have established effective communication. When engaging in whatever power dynamic feels appropriate - sexual, psychological, or physical- it is imperative to communicate the boundaries. You can only enjoy surrendering control of your body or mind to another human being in whom you've entrusted both your physical and psychological safety.
To start a relationship like this, you have to lay down the rules of what you like and, most importantly, what role you want to take. Do not simply assume that your partner will enjoy your preferences; you have to ask them what they want too. Go ahead and share your sexual fantasies and determine if you want to incorporate them into the relationship. It is imperative that you do stuff you actually want to try as opposed to feeling compelled to perform particular activities.
Of course, there are things you and your partner might not agree on; that's why it's important to communicate clearly, thoughtfully, and kindly - if you do so, things will work out perfectly well. Definition of a dominant-submissive relationship. What is a dominant-submissive relationship all about? Do dominant-submissive relationships really work?