Why would anyone want to make a blonde joke anyway? Ask any blonde you know, it is believed that blonde jokes were invented by brunettes, jealous of Marilyn Monroe getting to have sex with JFK. Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? A: Her husband is out looking for the other man. Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?
A: With Clean dumb blonde jokes rocking of the head from side to side I dunno! They began to argue. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote! Q: What does a Spice Girl and a beer bottle have in common? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. Q: What do you do if a blondw girl hurls a grenade at you? Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
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A: Space. How did you get it to stop? Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? It was her best friend. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. They have just lost their bull. Why can't blondes make ice cubes? I'll tell you tomorrow. They were still arguing when the train hit them. Three blondes walk into a building. A blonde guy and a Clean dumb blonde jokes girl were happily married and about to have a baby. Search Media New Media.
The best clean blonde jokes poke fun at the stereotypical image of the ditzy blonde.
- A: She couldn't find the "10" button.
- Discussion in ' Games, Jokes, and Fun!
- A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
The best clean blonde jokes poke fun at the stereotypical image of the ditzy blonde. They are all meant in good fun, although you should use caution in sharing these jokes with your fairer-haired friends.
It's not worth offending someone just to get a laugh. The double meaning of "concentrate" makes a fun play-on-words. It also creates a strong humorous image of someone staring intently at a container of orange juice. This is one of the best clean blonde jokes because the pay-off isn't instant. There's a moment before the listener or reader realizes that the joke is actually on him. Another variation on this joke includes handing someone a card saying, "Turn over to find out how to keep a blonde busy for hours" on both sides.
Finally, a man came up behind her and asked if she would mind letting him buy a drink. The blonde responded, "Are you crazy? I'm not leaving this machine while I'm still winning! As you read this joke, you begin to wonder exactly what the blonde woman is thinking.
When the punch line comes, it brings both an "Aha! This one is the best clean blonde joke for those with a darker sense of humor. As with many jokes, the fun is in the unexpected twist, in this case, when the meaning of the word "tracks" changes.
The first blonde said, "I can't seem to get this door unlocked! The situation seems serious at first; many people know the feeling of locking your keys in the car. The punch line adds the all-important twist when you realize the two blondes aren't really in trouble, and it's just their own lack of common sense getting in the way. A voice next to him says, "Go ahead, but before you tell that joke, I think I should tell you that the bartender is a blonde, the bouncer is a blonde, and I'm a blonde with a black belt in karate.
There's another blonde next to you who is a body builder. Are you sure you still want to tell it now? I don't want to have to explain the joke four times. With this joke, you almost expect that the tables will be turned, and blondes will come out on top for once. However, the punch line brings it back into familiar blonde-mocking territory.
This joke adds a new twist to an everyday sight, so you can almost picture someone doing this exact thing. When you first hear "ice fishing," you think of a certain situation, but the entrance of the zamboni changes the setting completely. The switch results in another joke that creates a great humorous image. When we enjoy this joke, we're really mocking ourselves because it's a force of habit to look up when looking for a bird - it would be far too easy to do the exact same thing.
Yet the reality of looking for a dead bird in the air is so ridiculous that you can't help but laugh. Quick and to the point, while these jokes are used to describe blondes, they are also popular in making fun of nearly anyone. Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because it said, "concentrate. How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow. A blonde approached a pop machine and put in a dollar. Out came a cola. She put in another dollar. Out came a root beer.
She kept doing this, becoming more and more excited with every can she purchased. Three blondes were going for a walk when they saw some tracks. They began to argue. The second blonde said, "Those are elk tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them. Two blondes drove to the mall and lost the car keys.
They ended up standing in the parking lot frantically trying to unlock their car door with a coat hanger. A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Hey, would you like to hear a great blonde joke? What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech? A blonde at a flashing red light. How did the blonde get hurt while ice fishing? She was run over by the zamboni. A blonde and a brunette were walking through a park, when the brunette said, "Aw, look at the poor dead bird".
The blonde looked up and asked, "Where? She was so blond that… when she was going on vacation and saw a sign saying, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. All Rights Reserved.
Microwave them. Not all blonde women are dumb A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. Why do blondes wear underwear? A: Dunno — never seen either!
Clean dumb blonde jokes. Enjoy our collection of Clean Blonde Jokes
Suzanne's Blonde Jokes
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here. Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it? Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back. Q: Why can't a blonde dial ? A: She can't find the eleven. A blonde and a redhead have a ranch.
They have just lost their bull. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. Get the quarterback!
It's only 25 cents! A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote! There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals. What is the capital of Nevada? A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.
He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die.
No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off. Problem solved. A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. How much will you charge? The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?
She was standing on the porch. Submit Joke. Credit Joke to:. Make Anonymous. Woody on Woody Woody Allen.